I'm a survivor

I'd like to start with saying that I do have a slight envy of those who have a very tight knit relationship with their relatives (close family and distant), but I just don't have that with mine so please have that in mind with what I am about to tell you...
I used to have a good relationship with everyone on my dad's side of the family, until he passed away 12 years ago.
Then I went to live with my mum, and my aunts looked after my two brothers.
Never really had any contact. I didn't do much about it either, so I guess we're both in the wrong there.
12 years go by and then my mother pass away.
I needed the help to arrange the funeral so my aunt/uncle helped me and ofcourse my oldest brother, the other one passed away in 2014, was also present at the funeralhome and such.
And I do appreciate all the help I got fixing my mums funeral, but now they're calling all the time and my brother wants to meet up once a month to have dinner etc.
From 12 years of the random invitations to christmas dinner from my aunt and little to no contact with my brother, to the constant phonecalls and wanting to meet up..
I'm suffocating, and at the same time it feels so forced because they think I'm all alone now and I "need" them.
I've done very well on my own for a long long time and I will continue to do so, thank you.
I don't want them to feel bad about it, but also I feel they won't understand where I come from if I tell them the truth.